The Female Warrior
by Permanent Rose
Summary: Who was Bellatrix before she became the sadistic Death Eater we know her as today? One shot from Sirius’s point of view as he reflects upon some memories of his cousin before she joined the Dark Lord.


A/N: I've always been fascinated by Bellatrix. I don't know why. Here's a one shot from Sirius's POV about his cousin.

Oh, as for the title: Bellatrix is the third brightest star in the constellation Orion and it is also the Latin word for 'female warrior'

Please review. It makes me happy :)

Bellie Who I Loved

The night was still. Thick blackness enveloped the room. It was silent, apart from my brother's muffled snores. I usually had my own room, but Auntie Druella and Uncle Cygnus and their three daughters were staying over, as they did each year at the beginning of the summer holiday.

I knew I would not sleep, at least not after the conversation I had overheard today. As the seconds ticked by, feeling more like hours, I knew could not bear to stay in bed any longer. If I was not mistaken, I was not the only one who was awake.

I slowly slipped out of bed so Regulus would not awake, but I needn't have worried, for he could sleep through nearly anything. Regulus's door creaked slightly as I stepped out into the darkened hallway. I tiptoed past my parent's room, the guest room, where my aunt and uncle were sleeping, and my bedroom, the room my cousins were sharing.

As I crept down the old staircase, ancient pictures of the Black relatives menacingly starred down at me. I froze, suddenly frightened of the pictures I was so accustomed to seeing in the daylight. A loud creak from behind me made me jump in surprise. I turned to see the cause of the noise, squinting into the darkness. My eyes fell on an ugly, wrinkled face with two pointed ears. Kreacher, our ancient house elf.

"Why is Mistress's young son out of bed at this hour?" Kreacher asked in a rough, hoarse voice as he twirled a grimy string that was hanging from his filthy loincloth around one of his bony fingers. I didn't answer, for I knew he was talking to himself rather than me. "Young Sirius is not a good boy. No, Sirius is a bad boy. But Kreacher must love Sirius for he is Mistress's son. Kreacher must, Kreacher must, Kreacher must…"

He began to walk back down the hallway, dragging his old, withered limbs. Kreacher and I had never gotten along, and something told me that we never would.

I continued my journey down the old staircase into the front hall. Moonlight poured through the large windows, lighting up the hallway, making my journey much faster. I slipped out the back door, which led to our capacious backyard. Once you were in it, it seemed much larger than it looked, for it had a spell on it to make it look smaller than it really was.

I was silent as I stood in the shadows, for standing by the gnarled, old oak tree was a girl, just as I had suspected.

She was beautiful. Her porcelain skin was a great contrast to her thick black hair that cascaded down to the center of her back. She sat down by the base of the oak, looking thoughtful. Her bright eyes shined by the light of the full moon.

I slowly approached her, and once at the tree, standing behind her, I dared to place my hand on her shoulder.

"Oh!" She jumped in shock, abruptly turning around.

"Sirius!? What are you doing here?!" She hissed. Her mild, thoughtful expression immediately turned to anger.

"I-I couldn't sl-sleep," I stammered, suddenly afraid of my cousin.

An awkward silence passed between us. Bellatrix's expression suddenly softened, and I carefully arranged myself in her lap as I had done so many times in the past. She flinched slightly and I was afraid that she might shove me away, but she wrapped her arms around me instead. I felt her muscles relax and I leaned back against her shoulder.

"Bellie," I whispered, using my nickname for her.

"Padfoot," she said, and I could feel her smile. I bore the name of the Dog Star, so Bellatrix had come up with a clever nickname for me.

Even though Narcissa was closest to me in age, and Andromeda was the kindest, it was always Bellatrix who I adored. She was daring, brave, and beautiful. Even though she was more than eight years older than me, she was the one I always closest to.

"So what is the reason you are really here for, Sirius Black?" Bellatrix whispered in my ear.

I hated to ruin the moment; Bellatrix was now in a good mood, but the conversation I had overheard could not be ignored.

I took a deep breath as I began. "I overheard you and Annie talking in my room today…" I trailed off.

"How much did you hear?!" Bellatrix's anger was back.

I thought back to the afternoon. Regulus had been pleading to use my toy broomstick, and after hearing him beg for nearly an hour, I had decided to go up to my room and get it for him. But as I approached my door, I heard voices from the other side. Curious, I stopped to listen who it was. It was Andromeda and Bellatrix, arguing about joining _him. _The Dark Lord.

"Things about the Dark Lord," I finally managed to say. "It scared me, Bellie."

Bellatrix was silent for a moment, then said, "Don't be scared. You should feel honored to be part of a family such as ours. Pureblood all the way back. The Dark Lord takes favor in purebloods. Those who are his enemies will suffer greatly. Even you, young as you are, should think of joining him."

"But he sounds so evil!" I said, horrified at this suggestion.

"Not evil," she replied. "Great. Powerful. What he is doing is for the greater good of the Wizarding World."

But I knew she was wrong. I had heard of the things that he had done. They were not for 'the greater good' as Bellatrix said. Sure they would benefit some, but many more would suffer. He might have been great, and without a doubt he was powerful, but he was evil. Maybe even worse than evil, if there was such a thing.

"Don't join him. Please, Bellie," I pleaded. "You're family. I love you."

"And I love you too, my little Padfoot. But can't you see that this is the only choice? I have just finished at Hogwarts and I plan to join him. And I agree with his motives. I want to this." Even as she said this, I could tell it was not entirely true, at least not at this point in time.

And as I looked into her beautiful eyes, I felt frightened. I was terrified for her and all that lay ahead in the future.

* * *

Now I stare into those same eyes, though they are different now. They now look wild and mad. They are not the same eyes I once knew.

Anger wells up in me. Anger at what my life has become. Anger at Bellatrix for being a part of it all.

A jet of red light shoots out from her wand, and I skillfully dodge it.

"Come on, you can do better than that!" I yell, laughing at her.

Bellatrix is now furious. Her eyes are wilder than I have ever seen them.

"Avada Kedavra!"

The curse rings in my ears. As the jet of green light shoots toward me, the world seems to stop for a moment. My eyes find Bellatrix's and suddenly they are not the same. The eyes I see are the ones of the Bellatrix I once knew. The Bellatrix who I had followed ever since I could walk, the Bellatrix who stole her father's wand the summer of her fourth year to make a flowerpot explode just to show me that she could do magic, the Bellatrix who disowned me along with most of my family when I was sorted into Gryffindor and chose my loyalties, the Bellatrix who I heard screaming in remorse, begging for forgiveness while locked away in Azkaban, the Bellatrix I have grown to hate. Bellie who I loved.

In an instant her eyes are the same avenging ones that they were before. The curse still rings in my ears, and the world seems to begin again. Before I can even scream, or wonder if dying hurts, the curse hits me, and I fall into a world of blackness.


End file.
